Gone.

I think of you more than I probably should
I’m still learning not to
It’s just hard when that’s how
My mind’s become wired over time
I can’t possibly do anything without
Wanting to share it with you.

I talk about you a lot
I talk to strangers about you
They can’t know anything about me
Without knowing of your existence
In a way I feel like you’re still here with me.

Oh but I have to admit even
That’s a bit hard at times
Because I told back an ocean of tears
From falling off my face
I try to keep it cool…
To keep a straight face
Or have a sheepish smile;
See,I do all sorts of stupid things
Otherwise I’ll crack even when I intend not to.

It’s hard being by myself lately
Because I’m always tempted to
Go back to my old ways.
The more I try not to
The more my body craves for it
But somehow you still manage to save me
Your voice echoes in this empty room
And pulls me back.

Even then I lose it
I cry myself to sleep in hopes of
Waking up with a less sore heart
I keep telling myself that none of this is true
That you’ll be here when I open my eyes
Funny, I know but
I need something to keep me together
I need anything to keep me from falling apart even more
But none of it helps;
All of this is useless because you’re gone
And no pain cuts deeper.

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