I have no clear idea of what self love is, but I am searching deep within me to find it, to cultivate it even.
Something in me tells me that it is somewhere along the lines of loving myself even when I feel unlovable, that it is filling myself with so much love that I don’t need to rely on another to love me, instead to have so much love for the both of us in me.
I think it is me being selfish with my time. Time to heal, to grow and, be with me first before anyone else. It is allowing myself to exist in spaces where I can both be soft and vulnerable, knowing that there’s enough room for me to be strong.
It is shedding and making room for growth while leaving a small room for disappointment and heartbreak that may creep in from time to time. It is heeding advice and learning the ability to sieve through it in becoming a better woman tomorrow. It is me gathering all the parts of myself that I’ve given away so carelessly to another being, trying to love them, and at times loving them more than I could ever love myself.
I’m not sure what self love is but I think it is learning to say NO with conviction. Saying no to any negative energy in my life. No to friendships that do not benefit me in any way. Saying no to being half loved and being treated any less than I am. It is claiming and being the powerhouse I know myself to be.
I’m not sure what self love is, but I know I’ll get there one day.